Sunday, February 19, 2012
MIGRATE /2:00 PM
This blog has migrated to
http://heartintheshadow.blogspot.com . Thanks.
0streetboi zac|
Sunday, August 28, 2011
death doesn't like to be cheated /6:03 PM
At long last. I've watched Final Destination 5 in cinemas, and twice in 3D! :D
0streetboi zac|
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
mistakes /11:33 AM
These tears, these fears
Unsettling as they come
Some things I can never overcome
That smile, feels like a mile
That strong fear of believing
The very obstacle to living
It really hurts, those words
The pain you can never feel
Those scars that will never heal
Rejection, deception
Does it have to be a must
To learn from scratch, again, just how to trust
Breaking it, taking it
Falling into that pit of sorrow
Just feels like there's no tomorrow
Footsteps, heart stabs
Those times of bliss
Those times I miss
The grief, the eventual drift
I was happy, then
I could be happy, when?
It could be, maybe it was just me
The darkness that shrouds
Even in the massive crowd
Breaking apart, in the heart
It used to be a part
Now it is only apart
Those tears, those fears
They could never stop
They could never, stop.
0streetboi zac|
Final Destination 5 /11:29 AM
OMG WHEN IS IT COMING OUT!!!! I'M DYING IN ANTICIPATION!
0streetboi zac|
Friday, June 17, 2011
losing grip /11:08 AM
I've been lazy and pretty incoherent with my blog updating, but there are just so many thoughts I have and sometimes I just can't find the right words to list them all down, and sometimes I just don't feel like doing so.
I'm guilty for always keeping my thoughts inside of me and just bottling up the emotions, one after another. I don't know when this bottle of emotions will crack and shatter from overflow, but I can feel the pressure. I don't even know how to release my emotions anymore, and I may be starting to lose my ability to cry it out.
This pain in my heart, is not just another ordinary pain. It's worse than the scars you get physically; these emotional scars continue to burn day by day and the flame can always be reignited several years down the road, just so that you feel the pain again.
It is a pain of heartbreak, something which I thought I wouldn't have to face again. Something which I had so strongly believed it, but it has failed me 4 times. I hate how that number will only increase and leave a mark as I try to move on.
It is a pain of feeling other people's heartbreak, when I see others around me crumble. I hate myself for being so sensitive sometimes, such that I can feel how others feel, and sometimes it is because of this that I somehow want others to be able to appreciate my feelings too, which never really happens.
I just feel like a fool in life. A fool that will never learn. A fool that will continue to trust people even though he has been hurt many times before. A fool that will give in to whatever people want and not live for himself. A fool that can give people great advice and help them move on, but is stuck at the very same place he was left behind. A fool in believing what is fact or fiction.
I tried.
0streetboi zac|
Sunday, May 29, 2011
moving on /6:08 PM
I never thought this day would come, and come so quickly. It's time. Maybe you were never meant to be. But I never regret the decision I made on 24 January 2009.
0streetboi zac|
Saturday, May 7, 2011
over you /2:55 AM
Now that it's all said and done, I can't believe you were the one, to build me up then tear me down. I never saw it coming. I should have started running, a long, long time ago. I'm slowly getting closure, guess it's really over, and I'm finally getting better. Now I'm picking up the pieces, spending all of these years, putting my heart back together. The day I thought I'll never get through, I got over you.
0streetboi zac|
Saturday, April 16, 2011
hurry up /10:06 AM
Come on...I'm waiting for so many things!
0streetboi zac|
Saturday, February 12, 2011
don't matter /8:36 AM
Sometimes I wish decisions in life didn't have consequences.
0streetboi zac|
Saturday, January 29, 2011
give me a reason to smile /2:34 AM
Things are going terribly wrong every possible way it can be. Just when I thought the worst had hit me, even more terrible news swept me off my feet like tsunami waves. I don't see a point in doing this any longer. I wish my tears would change something, something for the better.
I don't wish to cry myself to sleep every night anymore. I need a reason to hang on. And I'm tired of masking my emotions under a smile.
I'm not as happy as you think I am or I am perceived to be. There's no reason to smile anymore. It's useless; it's hopeless; it's meaningless. It's gone.
0streetboi zac|
Sunday, December 12, 2010
keep holding on /6:13 PM
I know how strong you have been, and how much you have tried not to show your disappointment, misery or pain in front of me. I know. I do know.
Don't give up. You are stronger than you think and you are so much better than what it seems like right now... :)
0streetboi zac|
Saturday, November 20, 2010
lonely no more /1:14 PM
I don't want to have to just imagine your face or see your face on my iTouch. I want to see you in person... I don't want to cry any longer just missing you so terribly.
I don't want to be lonely no more. I just want you by my side. Will you return to my side?
0streetboi zac|
i miss everything about you /1:08 PM
Why do we always only cherish things after they're gone? It just seems like we'll always be waiting for something, whether it is waiting to relive yet another moment that we once had or waiting for something to end so that the pain no longer stays...
I can't shake this aching feeling in my heart that I have for you. I hate having to keep wondering if you are ok. I just want to see your face and know that you are ok. I miss the times we were together, side by side. I really hope time will fly by, because that is the only way we can get through this now...
I miss you.
0streetboi zac|
Saturday, October 9, 2010
3 words say it all /4:58 PM
I saw this graffiti on the bus one day. I never thought it would strike me so hard thinking about it.
0streetboi zac|
Saturday, October 2, 2010
broken-hearted /12:54 PM
Sometimes I really have no idea why life has to be so cruel. When times get hard, all I really wish is to have someone physically by me to provide me with the support that I need, yet when I finally get what I've been longing for for 18 whole years, separation is inevitable. Fuck that.
I don't understand how it is so easy for others to move on. I'm still in the midst of recuperation and trying to stand up by myself. And my heart really aches by the day seeing how much suffering one can actually be subjected to and how unfair this world can be to those who have tried their best time and over again. My heart bleeds from not being able to rely on the support I need whenever I'm feeling down. I don't understand why time has to be a factor in deciding when support comes.
I've been crying too much thses days, yet my 'too much' just doesn't seem sufficient to ease any of the pain I'm feeling. I wish I could do the same things. I wish I could change everything, because I'll give anything for it. I wish this would be over.
0streetboi zac|
