Wednesday, March 31, 2010
the end is nigh /12:10 PM
Funny thing about work is, I kinda got used to it, even though I'm not supposed to.
And I'm not dumb. I know that condescending look on your face. So what if you are filthy rich adn could probably crush me with all your stacks of green? It doesn't make me less of a human so you can just kiss your cash when you are in your coffin.
What the hell man. Stop tapping on the damn glass window. Be patient and wait. Didn't your parents teach you some manners? Where has all that education you spent with your tons of cash gone to? What are you - woodpecker?
And bloody fuck. I mean, I was a new part-timer who was lost and just needed a helping hand. How many people actually offered that helping hand? I guess karma will get you indeed. I'm kinda glad I will never have to face someone so high and almighty about himself and so rude and sarcastic to tell me to "Keep it up" when I'm lost.
But I guess there's a silver lining to every cloud, whatever that idiom is. There will always be someone out there whom you will have fun interacting with, despite coming from different worlds.
Still, I think I'm glad my work is coming to an end. Too much to take and swallow. And anyway, I don't wish to get involved in conflicts between people. I hate it.
0streetboi zac|
Friday, March 12, 2010
remnants of the tears shed /4:10 PM
I think I'm school-sick. It's times like these when you really start to miss school and hanging out with all your friends there. It's when you come out to work that you realize that you are no longer able to go back to that classroom which you have lived and breathed in for a few years. It also means that mistakes are no longer as easily forgiven.
Yes. Doomsday came and gone. I did ok, but I have alot to say, not in terms of general perspective, but in comparison to everyone else in the school. Everyone else who has had their results slip filled with a plentiful supply of As, please learn to shut up, go back to your house and smile foolishly to yourself while looking at the bright future you have ahead of you. Sorry, but you rubbing in your fantastic results kinda just pisses me off.
I broke down. Yes. I did. Upon seeing my GP results, then my Japanese results. Fruits of the labour. What bullshit. After so much effort and disappointing results? I have nothing to say. Anyway, the GP results was the breaking point.
And I never knew a teacher could be so heartless to a crying student.
Now I just hope I get into my choice of course for university. Hopefully a scholarship too.
0streetboi zac|
Friday, March 5, 2010
state of confusion and panic /10:02 AM
I've been crazy and lost these 2 weeks. Last week I was living my life one day behind, thinking that Monday was Sunday, Tuesday was Monday etc. This entire week I've been living my life one day ahead, thinking Monday was Tuesday, Tuesday was Wednesday etc. My entire calendar is screwed up. And the sweltering heat of the erratic weather now is not helping at all.
I can't believe that in just a few hours, I'll be getting back this slip of paper that will essentially determine how my future is like. I rather live in ignorance. Ignorance is bliss, isn't it? I'm breaking out into cold sweat just thinking about what could possibly happen if, touchwood, I do badly. Rather, what could possibly not happen since bad results will only shut more doors to your future.
Anyway, I finally met up with my long-lost friend of 12 years, Nicholas, yesterday! Talk about damn long... It was great, but I wasn't being myself. How to, when I'm in this horrendous fluster thinking about my results. We visited the soon-to-be-torn-down campus of Montfort Sec and gosh, it was OLD. DAMN OLD. AND EMPTY.
Argh. I'm getting myself all cranked up thinking about my results. And my work as a waiter starts tomorrow. And I still have alot of friends to meet up. And I'm going to be enlisted soon.
WHYWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY.
0streetboi zac|
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
scared is an understatement... /12:37 PM
Honestly, I have no idea how to describe how I'm feeling now. This Friday will be the doomsday which every 18-year-old fears. Ok, some 19-year-olds for that matter as well.
I'll probably be really quiet on that day before I get back that slip that kinda determines my whole future ahead. My last certification was PSLE, and god, that is never gonna get me anywhere. I swear. Who cares what you scored in primary school?
Dang. I don't exactly have a good feeling, but I don't know what to expect anyway. I have no idea whether I will do well (which is unlikely, by the way) or I will screw it up damn badly. More like the latter, as much as I'm wishing it won't happen. Damn. I should have been smarter. And more hardworking.
Anyway, I miss LAN. Left 4 Dead 2 or Call of Duty 4... Anything. It is a good stress reliever.
0streetboi zac|