Wednesday, August 12, 2009
j-horror /1:43 PM
Who's the real J-Horror now? I hate having to face the J-Horror (almost every week now) and having to sit right beside this terror of my life in fear. In fear because I didn't comprehend a single word that was uttered in Japanese. In fear because I didn't know what to reply (IN JAPANESE). In fear because I have a feeling this scene will repeat itself when I'm taking my 'A' Levels oral examinations.
I hate this feeling of being so helpless, useless and hopeless. I was practically stoning there half the time, because I simply have no idea what I'm supposed to give a reply about. This scene is just re-enacting in my head again and again, this time in the actual 'A' Levels examination centre. Fuck. It's gone. I don't think anything can ever save me from the demise of Japanese now. I felt like crying at that point of time. Just me and the J-Horror. All the attention was on me. The unwanted attention. And I can totally sense the exasperation from the J-Horror, together with that dirty look one gives someone who can no longer be helped.
If only I could turn back time, I would do so many things differently. I wouldn't have taken Japanese too. Obviously I underestimated the difficulty of it in
JC level and overestimated my ability to handle it. To think that 2 years ago I actually thought that Japanese would probably be the subject that would save my grades. It's totally reversed. This is gonna be one of the things I'll regret in my whole life. One of my biggest regrets.
It's no use trying to salvage anything about it now. Serves me right for trying to master another language altogether. Fuck.
0streetboi zac|
